People & Society

(Repost from July 30, 2019)

Where do I start? That is seriously the question I am asking myself at this very moment. I know that God has put on my heart to write, but what exactly am I supposed to be writing? I have had book ideas for years, words just seem to want to flow from my head and heart to a page, but I truly have no idea where to begin. So much of me is leaning towards just not starting anything, because not having a plan could lead to disastrous consequences: namely the judgment of others. I have been so afraid: afraid that I am not good enough, afraid that I am not smart enough, afraid that I will make a huge mistake and hinder the cause of Christ rather than aid it. I am not unlike so many of the bible characters whom God asks to do something and they just stand there. Maybe they even turn around and look behind them to check to make sure he isn’t actually talking to someone else. Maybe they even ask: “Who me?” with a surprised “You must be joking!” tone. Yep. That is exactly how I feel right now.

And yet, there is a holy nudge in my heart (that feels more like a lump in my throat) that tells me to start anyway. I have taken the summer to exhale and rest, which was hard for me but definitely called for. However, as it comes to a close, the new command from my Lord is loud and clear: Be. Not. Afraid. I have rested. I have exhaled. I have renewed and honestly found so much learning in the resting. Waiting, resting, exhaling, all of these words seem to be so stagnant, but in reality, they are action words that have been preparing my heart for a work that God is wanting me to do. I know he wants me to write, and so I am bolding doing what he asks of me. I am afraid. There is fear. But I hear him: Be. Not. Afraid. – so, here it goes. I am just going to start. 

God’s will isn’t hard to understand. We make the gospel in our lives so much more complicated than it should be and we boil in a stew of our own making. Jesus is very specific when he is asked what the greatest commandment is. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart.” Then he adds to it, “The second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.” The good news (gospel) is that Jesus is the Son of God, born of a virgin (humble miracle) God in flesh (humble miracle), lived a perfect life (example miracle), died for our sins to reconcile us to himself (humble example miracle), and then rose again to defeat death and prove his power (power miracle). All my soul wants to scream “YES and AMEN!” or “He is risen, indeed!” The gospel is clear, simple, and full of the richness of God’s goodness to humanity. We complicate it when we ask, “What now?” What does God want me to do now that I understand the gospel truth? What is God’s will for me in this lifetime? Jesus gave us the answer: Love Him & Love Others. In our daily lives, that should be our desire from the first blinking of our eyes to our heavy fall into the pillow that lies at the top of our unmade beds. It’s not complicated. It’s not even a long list. But, like the gospel, we make it so much more complicated than it needs to be.

I work with High School students and College students, and their questions about what they are supposed to do with their lives are the same. They usually come to me with the question and the understanding/expectation that God has something uber specific for them. They aren’t entirely wrong, but their approach is. God IS specific: Love Him & Love Others. Apart from that, the paths to a fulfilled life of a follower of Jesus are an endless choose-your-own-adventure story. I used to love those books. You know, the ones where you get to the end of the chapter and you get to go on in the story based on what you think the main character does or should do next. “If you think Jo should go into the cave after the baby bear, turn to page 46.” “If you think Jo should run to get help back at the campsite, turn to page 49.” “If you think Jo should climb a tree next to the cave and set up her own camp for the night while watching to see what happens next, turn to page 53.” For me, those books were the jam! You mean, I get to actually CHOOSE what happens and how things turn out? I quickly learned that the answer to that question was: sort of. (I also always read how every choice turned out because curiosity is a thing.)

Sort of is the answer because the author of the story knows how each choice affects the narrative. Whether I wanted Jo to be brave and enter the cave, safe and head back to camp, wild and climb a tree, didn’t matter in the end. The author designed the book with all choices in mind. It is the same with our lives and God’s will for what happens in them. The first question we should be asking ourselves is: do we Love God? If the answer is, yes – turn to page 2. (If the answer is no, then go back to the beginning of the book and start again. It’s worth taking as many looks at this question as it takes for the answer to be yes and amen!) The next question is: do we love our neighbors as ourselves? If the answer is yes – turn to page 3. (If the answer is no, then go back and check your answer to the first question. You may be confused as to what it actually means to Love God.)  Finally, we can get to the point in the story where we get to the specific question about our individual lives: What am I supposed to be doing? Honestly, the possibilities are endless. The author of our lives knows how all the choices made at this stage in the story will end up. We can be so afraid of making the wrong choices that we get stuck here. We are often not even willing to check out what happens on page 49 if we choose safety.

Here is the deal: it comes down to you knowing how God created you. What are you good at? What are you terrible at? What would you do if you could do anything for 24-hours straight? What is the last thing you would want to do? If you take a good look at the gifts God has given you, and the natural parts of your personality and individual makeup, there is a good chance you will be able to make a choice and turn to that section in the book of your life. Are you brave? smart? cautious? generous? organized? wild? Do you love adventure or do you love consistency? Chances are you are more than one. Heck, you may be all of it! The good news or GOSPEL of your life is that you can always check one out, see how it works, and then check out another. As long as you have the answer to the first two questions right (Do I love God? YES! Do I love others? YES!), then the sky truly is the limit for what you can do to accomplish things for God while expecting great things from him. After all, he is the author of your story. He knows all the possible outcomes. If those are your answers, then the outcome is an eternity with him and the expectation of that is great! Joy and fulfillment in this life come when we are walking with Jesus on the daily. Life happens and life can be difficult, but joy and peace and wholeness are possible even in the tough stuff.

I’m not going to ask you to trust me because I have experienced it. I’m not going to tell you right now all of the ways that I have seen this in my own life so that you might read and believe. Those things are true, but that isn’t my job. I probably will, at some points along the way, share what God has done because he is glorious, but truthfully your belief in God’s goodness, the gospel, and his will for you will come because the Holy Spirit has done a miracle in your life. He is the one who opens eyes and ears. He is the one whose presence will draw you to the throne of The King. He has done it for me. The reason I am writing today is because of his prompting. I’ve been nudged and I’m obeying.

For me, the answers are yes and yes. I love God and love others, not perfectly, of course, but I’m working on it. I have gotten to the end of a chapter in my story and I have many choices set before me. I have chosen to follow the bear into the cave and turn to page 46. I have chosen to be brave. I know myself, though change is constant. I know that God has given me the ability to communicate, encourage, and express in writing the simple truths of the gospel. He has also given me a great capacity for love. (So great, in fact, that blueberries get thrown at my house, I get threatened via prayer request, and my husband and children often ask if I might be nuts! – again, maybe I’ll explain some other time.) Today, I choose to begin a journey of writing that scares the crap out of me (yes, mom, I said the “c” word). Despite the lump in my throat, heat behind my eyes, and general loss of blood from my head to my toes, I am choosing to publish publically. I’m not going to seek readers or advertise, just yet. God can do that part. I’m being obedient to the nudge. I know that there are some things I have on my heart to write about that might cause squirming amongst my readers – Heck! I’m squirming now thinking about writing them. And yet, I hear the words of my savior: Be. Not. Afraid.